Discovery

In which we talk about ourselves, and our resolutions.

This is the time for us to begin talking of how we wish to be on the turn of the next New Year.

I'm in university, so naturally I'm incredibly broke. I'm trying to start a budget, but who knows if my feigning willpower will ever allow me to stick to this. This could be for several reasons. The main one would be dependencies. I'm dependent on FAR too many chemicals for me to be financially fit. These dependencies are not solely chemical, as much of it is on account of social pressures. You may have heard the words many times "University is an excuse to be an alcoholic."

It couldn't be more true.

I feel that if I can strip myself from those needs and wants that I may actually be able to waste my capital on something that matters to me, something that is withstanding, and something that will allow me to enjoy more than just a night of disillusion and lost inhibitions. I'm referring now to that drunken pseudo-euphoria. If I could strip myself of my want for that, I could spend my life in such a more efficient manner. This is not saying that I want to stop drinking entirely though, because given the proper social opportunity and atmosphere it would be quite profitable, at least, metaphysically.

This brings me to my resolution. I am going to will myself to spend only 30$ a week whilst here at university. My meals and lodging are well paid for, so this shouldn't be too difficult as without alcohol my expenses are few and easily met. This goal is only 20$ less that my previous goal, which is a realizable goal, and therefore much easier to obtain. I've learned through my many endeavors into challenged willpower that this is the easiest way to succeed in conquering a challenge. So, that is how my money will be spent, $30 per 7 days in my week.

On a different note, I've felt my musical self changing. I've stopped looking for masturbatory guitar and drums, and started looking for something that makes me feel satisfied. I used to believe that it took considerable skill to create the songs I used to listen to, with their eight minute guitar solos and soaring vocal harmonies, however, this is only one form of musical talent. To be able to take someone to a completely different realm with your music, to relax them and make them feel as though they could simply slip into a walking dream, is also something that requires very much talent.

This is where I found the Arcade Fire and Bloc Party (See download links for their CDs that I enjoy at the bottom of the page). As much as I believe that MTV's top ten albums of the decade exclude many genres, I find these two albums to be quite lovely. They've brought me to an entirely new level of appreciation, and they've made quite the splendid impact of my musical diversity.

To be fair, I have one last resolution, but it's a repeating theme. I want to lose weight, and actually keep it off. Something I was really proud of was getting down to a healthy weight and maintaining it for almost a year. My heavy course load and financial falters have led to me not having the time or money to going to a good gym. These are excuses, I realize, and the beer probably didn't help, but I'm ready to actually try this semester.

Lastly, I want to let you all know that I'm going to start writing little tidbits of advice for keeping your health and creativity while you hit university for the first time, or if you're struggling while you're here. Of course, I have to compile the advice and apply/test it to my own lifestyle, just to make sure you won't be led astray by words. When it does arrive, however, it will be beneficial to anyone finding they just don't have the time.

That'll be all

-Jeff

Bloc Party - Silent Alarm

The Arcade Fire - Funeral

Improving Blog Traffic

Okay, so I've been reading up on blog traffic, really trying to break it down into the how's and whys, the it's and whats. I really don't know where to start, or really what to do. Basically I've become incredibly confused with all of the things that I could be writing about. I just need some way to get myself started on all of this.

I tried looking at search trends in google, trying to find out what was most popular in my field of talents. Of course, I look at the trends in music. What comes up you ask? When I search for the general trends in music under arts and entertainment?

Twilight

Do you know what comes up when I search for guitar under entertainment.

Guitar Hero

What comes up with I look at the general population's choice of searches?

Twilight

Twilight

Twilight

Uggghhh, I can't escape that book, it seems like everybody wants to read it. That, or teenage girls just prefer to type the word into the search engine a million times just to prove they're a more die-hard Cullen fan than the last. You have to understand how terribly frustrating this is.

Okay, so I'm trying to write a blog that will attract a lot of people. This is my venting spot mind you, where all the people who really want to see my psyche will see it. That's you, my valuable and dedicated readers, I think you very much for it. Any way, back to my dilema.

I need to find out exactly what I can write and how I can write it as to attract a global audience. Steve Pavlina, my guidance at stevepavlina.com is saying to write timeless material. Is saying to write valuable material. Is saying to picture myself infront of a million people speaking. He says, I should say something worth while. What exactly can I say that would be worthwhile? What exactly can I offer?

What am I good at?

I can play guitar, I can teach guitar. But this requires videos, this requires a lot of time, something I'm currently working on. So, how am I going to figure all this hubub out? How am I going to make sure I make the right choice?

Who knows.

What do people want to read about? What can my valuable, timeless, important information be about? Google Says:

Twilight

Twilight

Twilight

Honestly, I don't really know how I could ever write about something I know just little enough about to have an educated loathing of. So it's out of the question, I'm simply not going to write about it.

The next thing I've found becoming popular, is the blog written about people's life experiences becoming horrible, and terribly wretched. You're firmiliar with Fuck My Life? The website about unpleasant occurances? I could rip it off yes, but if I do, what would the good of me be hmm? See this is my dilema, I'm trying to brainstorm things that people would like to see/read about.

Help me out here people, when did I hit gold in my blogs? Have I ever done something that peaked your interest?

Time Management

I think I'm done trying to go about frittering time away. I've got university coming along next year, so it's time to start focusing on exactly what it is that I have to focus on. Money.

Money

It's the one thing you have to worry about every time you turn around. It's the one thing flying out of my pocket the moment I get it. I've decided on a few things, a few things to actually get myself set for a life outside, in the real world. The real real life. The one that sneaks up on you while you try to enjoy your last year of high school. That one. But I guess it's about time anyway. I guess I had to come about it some way, and besides, if I get really get at time management, about money management, about all things money wise in general, I'll actually be able to expand myself properly and come about making more time for myself, and for my friends.

Time

Sometimes I wish that I could be constantly and consistently moving at a speed so fast that time will contract, time will move more slowly, time will become something alterable for me. I wish so deeply that I could actually see time in that vector way that Dr. Manhattan can. Wishing on many different things can only fritter time away however. So I've decided that this will be my formal letter to all of you. Any one who may stumble upon this. This is my letter saying that I am going to begin with my own personal growth.

You have to realize, I've had my time charted out for my entire life. Mommy and Daddy taking care of the hard end of things, the end that time and money are on. It's my turn now, it's my turn to actually take it into my own hands, and try to turn it around, try to become an individual. I could use a few more hours a day, and perhaps through this personal growth, I will get there. I'll get that few extra hours to work on my physics paper, work on some tuition money, work on my relationship with the light in my life, Julianna.

Time time time.

You've gotta realize that sometimes it's best if you just throw yourself into things with a massive burst of initiative. It makes you feel a lot better about it when you actually achieve something. Maybe this extra time will give me a few more hours to work out in every day, to lose weight in. Maybe. Maybe it'll give me a little extra time to read, to actually enjoy life as I'm suppose to. I just need more time.

Money

It's still there, in the back of your mind, and you're trying to tell yourself it's just going to come to you. I've realized now, I've realized that throwing away funds like I have been is a foolish pursuit of something completely nonexistent. I won't find happiness through material possession, buying guitars, books, games. I just have to make due with what I have. I want to take everything I have now, and use only that to do what I have to do to get through until I move out of here, until I pay off my first year's tuition.

Isn't this what everyone thinks about? Maybe in these few hours a day that I will gain I'll actually be able to find out who my roommate is in university next year, I'll actually be able to see if me and Quinn will be rooming together. Maybe in those extra few hours, I can do some assignments for people and make it possible to make a little bit more money with my ability to fluff up Shakespeare in a few moments. 500 words, with citations, with all the quotes planted nicely with proper grammar stuck in, 30 minutes. 10$. Fraudulent? I think not, simply another way to help people who don't have enough time, to make more time for me. Just a synergy between two people who can't find time to do things.

Let my strengths play on your weakness. Let my weakness, benefit from your strength.

With just a few hours extra, every day, I could spend time with my friends, my dear dear friends whom I see barely at all except for in the hallways at school. It's nice of course, however, wishing to see them makes me crazy, I wish I could be like them, so care-free, so moving. Some day, I'll have my few extra hours to hang out, to play video games, to fritter away without worry. Someday

I can only imagine how happy I could be if in those extra hours I can make my life with Julianna flourish in such a way. To be able to lay there with her in my arms, to have her head on my chest while she breaths with me. A synergy of two people, working together. It's just something I wish we had more time for. Or more time to go to parties with her. To be there, to hear the music, to play the music, to watch each other thrash around socially. If only I had those extra few hours.

Time and Money

Bleeding me Home

It's surprising that I should be so entertained in the presence of my younger cousin. It was only three years ago, or a few days more, that I was not interested in her in even the slightest way, yet now our friendship has evolved into something more than most friendships or cousin-ships do in just the short time of a three year span. I've done more in this week, partied, shopped, galavanted if you will, than I ever have. It's like this part of my family allows me some temporary release from the monotonous routine that I always seem to fall into as part of my life. They've even made me want to try polyphasic sleep again. But maybe not....

I've decided to tell you a little bit about how my ''life changing'' is going. I've got the initiative to start running again, and it's helped, I've had a couple small jogging session lately. My family being here, and being awake until three o'clock each morning does put a slight splinter in working out, lifting weights ect. but I'm sure that that will return to me as my routine comes back together. I've also opened a new savings account. I'm chastized almost constantly about my self centered spending. It's not my fault. I have money, I spend money. SO I've decided to transfer AT LEAST 50% of each paycheck into this low interest savings account, and praying for it to build up in time to make me some money for university.

Money Saving ideas

Bring lunch to work instead of buying it.

Borrow Games from friends when I feel the urge.

Buy books from the bargain bin, stories are timeless, they'll get to the bin eventually.

Ask for things as a gift for my birthday or christmas, they're never THAT far away.

Pay for less movies, be more extreme in sneaking ability

Okay, so my plans aren't foolproof, but I think I'll have a little bit of a head start onto the wagon with all of this willpower I suddenly have. Just have to keep it rolling, keep it going, keep it up homeslice. I dunno, hopefully all this will become an unstoppable boost of will that will keep me parading through richness and good health until I graduate in four months.

I graduate in four months.

Dear god.