The Rebirth

I've been writing music like crazy, lyrics and guitar, and I'll hopefully be releasing all of that with a few guest instruments, for purchase at some point in the next two months! Abby Cook has been gracious enough to provide me with some album art for my solo releases, so anyone eager to get their hands on some personal Abby Art will be able to do so by February.

I'm finding the writing process filled with positive emotions and energy so hopefully that will come through on the release. I've been dabbling in photography more and more every day, so maybe I'll arrange some sort of a photo shoot soon to get this blog looking a little more positive and modern like the approach I'm going to try to take for the release.

I'm just starting this blog up again, but I hope to get it rolling like it was not so long ago. Anyone who wants to look back and see what the blog was I encourage you to take a scroll through it's pages and see if you can dredge up some teenage angst (there's probably some pretty bad stuff in there).

I'm still studying Economics at Memorial University so besides sending posts and music I'll also be providing little bits of economic commentary to keep it from being consistently all about me and the music. If anybody has any ideas for artwork or recording collaborations get in touch with me whenever you can so we can hammer out all the little details pre-release.

Thanks so much for stopping in and reading, for all those of you who signed up for Google+ or have a Gmail account, I'm going to rig up a way to get any posts I make here sent directly to your e-mail or to your phone. I'll have details on that soon!
Keep in touch

Discovery

In which we talk about ourselves, and our resolutions.

This is the time for us to begin talking of how we wish to be on the turn of the next New Year.

I'm in university, so naturally I'm incredibly broke. I'm trying to start a budget, but who knows if my feigning willpower will ever allow me to stick to this. This could be for several reasons. The main one would be dependencies. I'm dependent on FAR too many chemicals for me to be financially fit. These dependencies are not solely chemical, as much of it is on account of social pressures. You may have heard the words many times "University is an excuse to be an alcoholic."

It couldn't be more true.

I feel that if I can strip myself from those needs and wants that I may actually be able to waste my capital on something that matters to me, something that is withstanding, and something that will allow me to enjoy more than just a night of disillusion and lost inhibitions. I'm referring now to that drunken pseudo-euphoria. If I could strip myself of my want for that, I could spend my life in such a more efficient manner. This is not saying that I want to stop drinking entirely though, because given the proper social opportunity and atmosphere it would be quite profitable, at least, metaphysically.

This brings me to my resolution. I am going to will myself to spend only 30$ a week whilst here at university. My meals and lodging are well paid for, so this shouldn't be too difficult as without alcohol my expenses are few and easily met. This goal is only 20$ less that my previous goal, which is a realizable goal, and therefore much easier to obtain. I've learned through my many endeavors into challenged willpower that this is the easiest way to succeed in conquering a challenge. So, that is how my money will be spent, $30 per 7 days in my week.

On a different note, I've felt my musical self changing. I've stopped looking for masturbatory guitar and drums, and started looking for something that makes me feel satisfied. I used to believe that it took considerable skill to create the songs I used to listen to, with their eight minute guitar solos and soaring vocal harmonies, however, this is only one form of musical talent. To be able to take someone to a completely different realm with your music, to relax them and make them feel as though they could simply slip into a walking dream, is also something that requires very much talent.

This is where I found the Arcade Fire and Bloc Party (See download links for their CDs that I enjoy at the bottom of the page). As much as I believe that MTV's top ten albums of the decade exclude many genres, I find these two albums to be quite lovely. They've brought me to an entirely new level of appreciation, and they've made quite the splendid impact of my musical diversity.

To be fair, I have one last resolution, but it's a repeating theme. I want to lose weight, and actually keep it off. Something I was really proud of was getting down to a healthy weight and maintaining it for almost a year. My heavy course load and financial falters have led to me not having the time or money to going to a good gym. These are excuses, I realize, and the beer probably didn't help, but I'm ready to actually try this semester.

Lastly, I want to let you all know that I'm going to start writing little tidbits of advice for keeping your health and creativity while you hit university for the first time, or if you're struggling while you're here. Of course, I have to compile the advice and apply/test it to my own lifestyle, just to make sure you won't be led astray by words. When it does arrive, however, it will be beneficial to anyone finding they just don't have the time.

That'll be all

-Jeff

Bloc Party - Silent Alarm

The Arcade Fire - Funeral

What can you possibly expect under this condition

There was point when I stopped caring about music, and I know it's terrible, because music has been everything that is my passion. Lately it seems like I'm picking the torch back up, there are little jotted down tabs in my moleskines and there are constantly notes flitting through my head. I'm always whistling something and recording it with my phone, it's directly along the lines of Beethoven's insanity in deafness, except I'm not as amazing as Beethoven, and I'm not deaf, however I'm getting there.

I think I should recount some of the things pushing me back to music. One would most definitely be December Fall Out. They've been doing all the things I would love to be doing, and I adore them for it. They've shown me that effort can get me exactly what I want, and by going to all of their shows and being one of their biggest fans I could say that I'm living vicariously through them. Trying to jump up on stage and sing harmony has made me a little bit more a part of everything I want to be. I'm trying as hard as I can to give as much as possible to Panda Farm so we can get there too, but it's getting harder and harder lately with all of us already feeling the strain of the inescapable hiatus that is going to happen in August.

Next, I can attribute some of this to Dan from Carpenter. He hung out with me and J for a little while at the DMCC show this past Sunday, and he was so down to earth, and still so concerned and caring for the people around him even though he was already broke and probably struggling to stay in high energy with his tour. Watching him play after he bought something for J and talked to us as friends even after just meeting us was an amazing experience, and I'll probably never forget it. Maybe he'll be around in Newfoundland to give me another little push in the right direction. I can only pray that's how it turns out.

I am committing a sin also played at that show on Sunday, and seeing their cohesive structure and hearing their beautiful harmony has made me once again, inspired to do what I've always wanted to do. It's just how right it feels being in touch with people who are living the dream that I've always wanted to live. The guitarists that I stood and watched in awe moments before actually unveiled their elusive pedal boards to me because of my interest. They talked to me like a peer because I think some how they knew that I would actually use the information they were imparting me with.

So maybe you'll see more from me musically in the future, it's a possibility, however I still have to get some momentum going again as far as writing music goes, it'll probably a little bit of a process getting that going again. I've been down and out for so long that I'm not sure I've got it in me to make things that will pertain to the interest of a broad enough audience. It's a worry I've always had when releasing something (even these blogs) and it surely hasn't gone away, if not it's doubled ten fold with my personal hiatus. I'm going to try though, that's exactly what's been lacking in my life, is an excessive amount of effort.

To anyone who's reading, I want you to try to reach out to the people who are living exactly as you would like to be. They don't have to be rich, they don't even have to be outwardly happy, I just want you to talk to the people doing exactly what it is you want to be doing, be it a local author, musician, photographer, just anyone. First off, give them as much appreciation as you can, because chances are, they were like you at one time and a little pat on the back is the least they deserve after all of their effort. Secondly, ask them how they did it, so that you can climb the steps the way that they did, and perhaps someday become like them. Talent usually has a lot to do with fame sadly, so sometimes they won't have much of a story to tell, sometimes it's purely by accident, but if you catch some really good advice, it'll go a long way.

Thirdly, live a little through them, ask them about their experiences, about the journey they made to get to where they are. They'll probably have a good story to tell, and through that you can either figure out that you really want to do it, or maybe it's just not the right thing for you. I know I was turned away from my job as an electrical engineer when I found out that an EE program leader has been delegating tasks for a mobile network at Aliant. That has nothing to do with what I want to do, and even though it pays well, that's not the life that I want to lead.

Give it a try, I promise your appreciation will be well heeded, and chances are (so long as you aren't audacious) you'll be greeted with the same appreciation. It's all a hard thing to do, I understand, because hesitation is often bred by exclusive recognition, but if you're lucky, you'll be able to see through your shy side and really dig deep with your "idol".

Critics

It’s so easy to say something about some one else’s work, but as soon as your work takes the stethoscope you start to really really wonder what’s going on. You start to really reconsider the way that you’ve been writing, the way that you’ve been playing, the way that you’ve ect. ect. ect.

I’m not sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I’d love to write. Write write write. It just seems like the perfect thing to do. It’s seems like I could sit all day and tippity tap the key board, telling stories. I just don’t have the motivation. The positive reinforcement.

Tell me what to do.

Please.

Just offer a few suggestions if anything. What is it that Jeff Cook is best at? What is it that I can do best? The new Career Advice thing that I’m taking in school tells me to SHOOT FOR THE STARS.

Job Opportunity: Author

Just a few things that I might be good at. Would you buy a book that I wrote? Would you buy that book? Would you want to know what I’m writing enough to ACTUALLY pay for it? You’ve gotta let me know, put a little bump in the right direction.

Job Opportunity: Musician

You’ve gotta know people who know people who know the pope to be a famous musician. It takes extreme talent and time that I just don’t have. But I guess with enough positive reinforcement, I can make time. I can start recording with all the free time I have. I can write write write ALL DAY. Just give me the positive reinforcement, just let me know what you want me to do. TELL ME.

Job Opportunity: Chef

I wish, I honestly honestly honestly do. I wish I could make fine cuisine and have everyone eat it, that would be absolutely fantastic. It’s just something I’ve come to love to do. Cook, it’s fun! But I mean, again, do you think I could make it? Think I could come out on top? Maybe… maybe…

Job Opportunity: Artificial Intelligence Psychometrics

Isn’t that the coolest sounding job title in the world? It’s actually one thing that I would really enjoy doing, because it’s something that would encompass everything that I’ve ever wanted to do. It’s the analysis of human emotion, human psychometrics. With your data, you compile ways through software to replicate true human emotion artificially. You create artificial intelligence. I read people, I love computers, and it’s got a bitchin’ job title. What could be more perfect.

Job Opportunity: Dancer

Get over it, it’s not happening.

Job Opportunity: Fashion designer

Not a chance.

Job Opportunity

Job Opportunity

The rest of your life is waiting for you to choose, but everything says “shoot for the stars.” Can I do that? Can I go out on a limb and try to make it in the world of fame and infamy?

Maybe someday.

My immense fascination with abstract music

I think it started when the back street boys went down hill. I sat down with my sister and I asked her to introduce me to music that wasn't the backstreet boys. So there we were, sitting there watching the country music station listening to something something something by Alan Jackson. It was after a few moments that she flicked over to much music, and much of my life became fascinatingly different. There it was, infront of me, it was the greatest video I'd ever seen, mind you at age six you haven't seen very much. Anyway, there it was. Clumsy by Our Lady Peace. Of course not the most abstract of pieces, but at the time it was the only thing in the mainstream at the time that was moderatly alternative, and that a six year old could listen to publically.

                           

Absolute bliss in my eyes. So there it was, my little gateway into a little bit of abstract heaven. Our Lady Peace. I owned Clumsy (1997) as of my seventh birthday, and beyond that it was sort of the rising action of a story. From Our Lady Peace it went to Pink Floyd, from Pink Floyd it went to several other classic rock outfits,The Mahavishnu Orchestra, King Crimson ect. Blah blah blah on and on until about grade 7. This was when it all kind of picked up for me. Here was this song in my Guitarworld magazine. It was called The Widow, and the guitar player presenting it looked at least a little presentable. So wham bam BOOM! I downloaded the song like any self respecting data pirate would. 

Point being, I hated it.

I really didn't like The Mars Volta at first, I really didn't, but something caught me when I saw the song on much music later that winter. It was still the same song, but they had an abstract video with it on "The Wedge", so I got intrigued, and I watched it, and I really got into the groove of the song.

I bought the CD.

Let's just say, Frances the Mute, is an experience, not just music. You have to listen to it from track 1 - 3, take a pee break, and from 4 - finish, because that's how it's meant, it's like a film, it's an experience. I loved it, I loved every little bit of it, and that entire night I played the CD on loop in my room while I played some blah blah blah stereotypical video game. I own all their CDs now, and am currently awaiting their new release, which is unknown date.

Finally, I've reached a climax and come to love The Blood Brothers and HORSE the band. There's no one much better at the abstract, avant garde art than these two. I strongly recommend them to anyone who enjoys a little bit of a challenge, something in aquired taste, or that just likes really good music. I'll leave you with the Blood Brothers last video, as unfortunately, they've since dilapitated musically.
                           

 

Me and My Star

You've gotta watch the trends in a sad song closely or you're never gonna pick up on the emotion at the right time. I was playing something melancholy just tonight, watching the few people in the crowd and I kinda hoped to bring them to tears. It was a horrible horrible wish, but I wanted the message to get out to them, to know I'd touched them so deeply that they could cry. One of their father's had died.

And he wondered/when his/father will return/but he's not coming back...

There was a girl in the crowd who I knew had lost her father and I was singing about a boy who had a likewise experience. She didn't cry, I was happy, I was disappointed. That was about it, the range of emotions I felt at the moment. It wasn't exactly the craziest of things to happen, nor am I going to write at extreme length about it.

Something peculiar happened to me today, I wanted to share it with you.

Symphonic Insinuation

I've got a ton of reasons just built up all over the place, but it's not going to get me anywhere.

I was falling asleep one night, not too long ago, and I started to think of a picture I'd seen not long at all ago. It was something Bill Henson had created, that I started thinking about. It was a natural scene, destroyed and hopeless, with a little bit of light cresting the horizon. Fallen branches in the foreground, the color green just showing through the bleak decay of the rest. Every bit of art I see is surrealism to me, because it's usually something with so much metaphorical meaning, that I'll never truly grasp it's reasoning, yet I'm here, seeing it, being a part of it. Just seeing it makes it surreal to me.

So I was falling asleep.

I played this little flute line in the back of my head, stage instructions were to breath slowly. The line repeated, and fell and swelled and did when music does. The violins were next. They came in softer, as though they were sneaking up from the back of my psyche. Then there they were. They just were. I didn't really come up with how they would sound. They just came in with their own independent composition. The stage instructions were telling me to count.

The picture never faded, even as the tattoo of drums began to ring in the mix of what seemed like at least forty instruments. I was Beethoven taking a nap. The stage instructions were telling me to keep my eyes closed, it would work faster that way. I remember trying to get up, trying to write this symphony down, but that picture kept reverberating in my eyesight, and it was like I was waiting for something. Some beautiful release.

The entire symphony was playing now. Thrashing about and falling into a groove. Rising and falling like human emotion itself. I heard it so vividly, in all of it's movements, how ever many there were, but couldn't remember this my own miraculous work for the life of me. I've been exaggerating when I tell people that I dream of conducting an orchestra, I didn't think it would actually happen.

That's more or less all I have to say for now. I'll post later tonight most likely.

For one to another.

Annie

I hope he doesn't hit her...if he hits her, than I don't know if there's anything I can do to stop myself from hitting him back. But really, she's the last one who should be beat, especially before me, or my friends...

So I asked Sam to come sing for the band...yeah I know, it's a girl and we're kinda metal, but since the start, I've always wanted to sound alternative and different, and having a girl be there while me n Greg shred away would really add something the industry has yet to come across. So I hope norm doesn't throw a fit every five minutes. If he's gonna be that way, and just bitch about the new lead singer, then I don't really see any reason in continuing being a band at all. But regardless, I want to keep writing music.

So I'm in seabee idol eh? singing johnny cash...so excited, I don't even like him. Everyone's like aww c'mon Jeff, Johnny Cash is the greatest, then it hit me. People suddenly seem so much more talented from six feet below the ground, maybe I should dig him up and see how well he could sing. Like, Nirvana, gained outstanding popularity with the death of Kurt. Pantera jumped into the mainstream again when former guitarist dimebag died, and he suddenly became the greatest player of all time. Then poor ol'Johnny, passed and they made a movie about him. Three fucking chords people, three fucking chords. It's not that impressive.