Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Six people sat on the edge of a beach, watching everything around them swell and fall swell and fall swell and fall. It was like the way the lives of their peers had been acting ever since high school started. Swelling and falling over and over time and again. It was like everything they had ever believed was embodied here in completely natural phenomena. They all knew what was coming, they all saw it becoming so much more of a reality. Swelling and Falling. Everyone around them could feel the oscillating power, and related it to the frustration and euphoria that came and went in their life.

Five people were fatalists. No the kind that believes in fate, but the kind that would tell you not much matters in your life because one day you'll be in the ground and you'll be dead. One day they'll all let you know just how dead you'll be. It's not that they don't try, their lives still has the same waves as everyone else's, they want to be as happy as they can be, but in the hardest times they find it's best to just let it go, to let it slip be. We're all dying after all. Every day brings you one step closer closer nearer to the ultimate end. This is what kind of fatalist all these five people are.

Four people are clinically depressed. They're crying inside all the time, they're dying a little bit more with every day because of the stress and terrible things that are happening in their lives. These three people though, there's not actually much terrible about their lives. Fact is, they're not depressed, they're clinically spoiled and emotionally soiled. You can't just give in to everything like that, bite down hard and give it your all. You see some one rise out the ashes and you're proud of them, and you're proud of them, and you're sad to see that you couldn't over come barriers and do the same. For a second, you're sad you didn't have it hard

Three people have something wrong with their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/sibling. You base everything off this one relationship in your life and now it's all going to shit. It's become some what of a torture for you to be around them. You've got three people who can't stand another three people who can't stand to look at these waves and feel them swell and fall. It's the people that torture them, it's people that see the world in one dimension emotionally, a swell or a fall. Not depressed, just no movement no emotion no nothing. Just tears tears tears. Their face is soaked again and these three people just don't want to have to deal with it any more and it's time to not deal with it anymore. They let it out once and only once and it's over. 

Two people are reborn. They've gone through something that's more difficult for them emotionally than you could have imagined, but it's okay because there's more to life than that. There two still wish sometimes that they had it harder. It's not really a question as to how they got over the difficulty they did. There was only one after all. They just got over it, and now it's time to move move digress into the opaque mystery that is the good life. You see them writing in new ways, talking in new ways. Drinking smoking grinding laughing crying. More emotion than these two have ever felt before. They grew up so fast it left stretch marks on their psyches. But they're smart now. They're reborn on the edge of freedom.

One person sits looking across at the girl he'd be hoping so much had the same feelings for him. You're together now, clothes on clothes. It's like you couldn't be happier, but friends can cuddle too. It's not an outward burst of outward affection. Friends cuddle too. It's coming down to crunch time now though. Edie Sedgewick's dead at this point and there's not a whole lot left to do. You've sat there long enough to realize how foolish you've been to wait. Her head's in your lap now. She's caressing the hand you've draped over her collar bone delicately with her hand. There must be something more to this. You bend over, fighting the fear inside yourself and gently let your lips press against her forehead in a tender kiss. She begins to sit up immediately, and you prepare yourself for the confrontation of a life time. She embraces you though, kissing you with some outward passion you'd yet to experience.

Is that what you wanted me to do?

No people sit by the beach any more, this is because it's all passed. In the past past past. The future is to come, but nostalgia was aching at my bones. It wished to be released. There it is.


kc said...

I knew I was right about you. You have a passion that's incredible. The sucky parts in life get better. I don't know how old you are, but when you seek the good in people, you can find it as well. That's how you find you are not alone in this world.

(Yes, I have a death obsession at times too, but I cherish every moment I can while I'm alive and seek to reach out to as many people as I can before I die).

I think you are a talented, unique person and have some wonderful thoughts. You might find like-minded community at My Gifted Life. Not everyone sees the world as you do or puts expression to it so eloquently.


kx said...

darnit here's the url for MGL

and here's another useful wesbite

supporting the needs of the gifted

(oh, and even if you never been tested, the way you see the world indicates to me you are a higher level thinker)