Monday, February 22, 2010

"Alright you primitive screwheads...

...Listen up, see this, THIS is my boomstick"

Alright, it's over, all of this drama is over. I'm done being a passivist, deleting myself from the internet, trying to hide from everything, that's not going to solve the problem. I'm owning up to all you small ignorant people. You have to take the time to sit there and make your sad boring lives interesting by sticking your nose into mine. Well bring it on.

Your dramatization of whats actually happened is getting on my nerves, and I want you to say all you have to say. At the end of the day I still know I'm fine as a person. I fucked up, fine, hit me for it, harass me for it, I won't hide, I won't back down, I'll stand and fight your depressing shit hole lives all I have to. I want you to give me all you've got, because you're never going to win. You've got this war to fight with me, so fight it, and fight it hard.

"You'll wait for me outside it a hole in the ground, well that's one way thinking you might get the upper hand"

Delete my facebook, delete my twitter, no, fuck that, and to every single one of you tired, useless people, fuck you too. I'm going to keep going like all of this isn't even happening after today. You're a tiny, insignificant part of this world, and there's no way that what you're doing right now is going to make you remembered. In the end, my piece will play a part of this and I'm not going to let you change that.

"I will come with arms."

Please, please, stick your nose out and let it meet my hand so I can make sure you stay out of my life. This is what I want to do, and this is who I am.

"At the end of the day, if you can look at yourself in the mirror and say 'I'm a good person' that's all you should need,"

God, I can't believe I could stoop to your level for even a second to consider running. Well I'm not running, please, PLEASE, try to hurt, so your words can fuel my anger, and push me over the this plateau, I will always come out on top because I understand what it takes in life to get to where I have to go. When you're laying on your death bed all you'll be able to remember of me was your futile attempt to try to make my life worse. I still have plenty of people who are my friends, and I still have plenty of people who would stick their neck out for me and fight the good fight. I've got my family too, and chances are they'll be fucking proud of what I'm about to say.

"Well they size my fit, for a puzzle I wish not to play part in."

Shall I go on? Shall I show you exactly what you are? Shall I throw the mirror to your face and show you the monster you're making yourself by trying to throw that mask on me? Keep them coming people, throw your venomous words at me and try to make me crumble. Never again. Never again will I let my passive mind over come me and let you step on my toes. This is my turn to throw my words at you. Form your militia, and bring your weapons of bullshit and blasphemy and try to knock me down.

I've accomplished so much in my life already, I've done so many things that none of you hate filled people will ever have the opportunity to do. I have the memories and the past success to push me to the pinnacle of a life that I should have.

That's all I have to say for now, I'll see you all on that social networking site facebook that you all see as your podium to try to ravage the lives of other people while you rot in your own self pity and fucking terrible lives.

-Jeff (The lying motherfucker) Cook

Sunday, February 21, 2010

One Day

Well, I'm gonna leave this up for a day to let every one know I'm deleting my blog too. Also, to everyone who hid behind the anon. label, it's quite alright, I know how brave the internet can make everyone. To anyone who actually enjoys reading anything I write, it's been fun, and thank you, but I guess this is what I have to do.


Saturday, February 20, 2010

Dear god

"Wake up, wake the sun"

I guess this is going to be kind of a trial thing. I considered completely removing myself from the internet, and losing every public part of my life, because it just shows more gaps in my ribs for a knife to slip into. I honestly don't know why I have any problem with being harassed though. I've been harassed before, behind my back and personally, and I feel like I don't even have to brace myself for it this time. I know who I am, and I know what kind of person I am. Sticks and stones ladies and gentlemen.

I'm waiting for the idle physical threats. I want some one to threaten to beat the shit out of me. I want the cowardice to come down that. I want the mobs to flock around me and beat me senseless so I can actually feel how much hate they have for me. It'll feel wonderful. Bludgeoned and black, bleeding and bruised, I'll feel some kind of hatred just pulsing through me. Oh god how I crave that adrenaline. It won't happen though, and I can laugh to myself knowing it won't happen.

"The morning tilts, over the hills, and floods the world"

I think I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and still feel fine about myself. I think I'm going to wake up the day after that and care even less about what anyone from my home town thinks of me. I'm almost positive a lot of people really don't like me around there anymore. That's alright, I've got family, and like momma always said, they're the most important people in my life.

Blah blah blah I dread going back to that city now. It's not like I'll run from my problems, like I said, I don't mind the harassment. If all the friends I had in high school hate me now, which I'm assuming the majority of them do, I guess I'll have to look the other way. It doesn't hurt me that bad, if they don't want me around, I guess I'm not welcome around.