"Wake up, wake the sun"
I guess this is going to be kind of a trial thing. I considered completely removing myself from the internet, and losing every public part of my life, because it just shows more gaps in my ribs for a knife to slip into. I honestly don't know why I have any problem with being harassed though. I've been harassed before, behind my back and personally, and I feel like I don't even have to brace myself for it this time. I know who I am, and I know what kind of person I am. Sticks and stones ladies and gentlemen.
I'm waiting for the idle physical threats. I want some one to threaten to beat the shit out of me. I want the cowardice to come down that. I want the mobs to flock around me and beat me senseless so I can actually feel how much hate they have for me. It'll feel wonderful. Bludgeoned and black, bleeding and bruised, I'll feel some kind of hatred just pulsing through me. Oh god how I crave that adrenaline. It won't happen though, and I can laugh to myself knowing it won't happen.
"The morning tilts, over the hills, and floods the world"
I think I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and still feel fine about myself. I think I'm going to wake up the day after that and care even less about what anyone from my home town thinks of me. I'm almost positive a lot of people really don't like me around there anymore. That's alright, I've got family, and like momma always said, they're the most important people in my life.
Blah blah blah I dread going back to that city now. It's not like I'll run from my problems, like I said, I don't mind the harassment. If all the friends I had in high school hate me now, which I'm assuming the majority of them do, I guess I'll have to look the other way. It doesn't hurt me that bad, if they don't want me around, I guess I'm not welcome around.
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