Saturday, February 20, 2010

Dear god

"Wake up, wake the sun"

I guess this is going to be kind of a trial thing. I considered completely removing myself from the internet, and losing every public part of my life, because it just shows more gaps in my ribs for a knife to slip into. I honestly don't know why I have any problem with being harassed though. I've been harassed before, behind my back and personally, and I feel like I don't even have to brace myself for it this time. I know who I am, and I know what kind of person I am. Sticks and stones ladies and gentlemen.

I'm waiting for the idle physical threats. I want some one to threaten to beat the shit out of me. I want the cowardice to come down that. I want the mobs to flock around me and beat me senseless so I can actually feel how much hate they have for me. It'll feel wonderful. Bludgeoned and black, bleeding and bruised, I'll feel some kind of hatred just pulsing through me. Oh god how I crave that adrenaline. It won't happen though, and I can laugh to myself knowing it won't happen.

"The morning tilts, over the hills, and floods the world"

I think I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and still feel fine about myself. I think I'm going to wake up the day after that and care even less about what anyone from my home town thinks of me. I'm almost positive a lot of people really don't like me around there anymore. That's alright, I've got family, and like momma always said, they're the most important people in my life.

Blah blah blah I dread going back to that city now. It's not like I'll run from my problems, like I said, I don't mind the harassment. If all the friends I had in high school hate me now, which I'm assuming the majority of them do, I guess I'll have to look the other way. It doesn't hurt me that bad, if they don't want me around, I guess I'm not welcome around.


Corey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

what you did to her was horrible and unacceptable and I don't think anyone will come beat you up for it, but its your own fault that people decided to harass you about it if thats what they harrassed you about. And its a little immature that they did, admitted, because it should only between you and her, but you probably have said your side to whoever your best friends are as well.

Anonymous said...

Jeff, I agree with you.

I hope to see a mob of people beat the living shit out of you. Because God knows you deserve it. The harassment may end, but now enough people know what a shitty, backstabbing liar you are. And you will die, depressed and alone if this world has any justice.

Peace out, you gay motherfucker.

Anonymous said...

People come on! Everyone makes mistake in life and by saying that shit it makes you no better than him. Grow the fuck up. Get over yourselves. How is it your place to give a shit? It is between him and her, NOBODY else.
Jeff, if you ever need anything "you know where I live".

Anonymous said...

I was referring to his personal character as a whole, not about whatever went down between him and his girlfriend, although I'm sure it would seem that way.
And by sticking up for him, aren't you getting involved with something that isn't involving you? Kinda hypocritical if I do say so myself.

Anonymous said...

It's not hypocritical at all because I'm not sticking up for him. I was simply stating a fact that no one deserves to have those things said to them, regardless of how badly they fucked up, not even Jeff.

I dont know what he did, and to be honest I really dont care, harassing him like that is not going to get you anywheres.

Anonymous said...

Dear God is right....

dear god here he goes again whining and acting like he doesn't care if no one likes him.....if you don't care and are so comfortable with who you are than why does it seem like what your really looking for is someone to reasure you constantly?? just grow up a bit already it's your selfish ways that got you into this mess to begin with! Enough with your pity part and poor me bullshit you need a rearview mirror so you can look back and see everything you feel is being done to you is exactly what your doing to others and how you make them feel!

Anonymous said...

And I'm simply stating the fact that he is a bad person, who backstabs and lies to make him feel better about himself. There's a difference between harassing him and giving him a piece of my mind.