Continuity

Wow, what a weekend we had with MME this last week. We played to a pretty big crowd at the breezeway and our most faitful fans from the campus stopped into see how we were doing. The next night we went over to an underground producers house to play (His name's nathan day but he also goes by badger). I think it's the most fun I've had playing a show in what seems like a lifetime. I didn't know a lot of the people in the crowd personally but I felt like they were really into what we were doing. Some of them even heeded to my request and danced as much as possible during the songs.

It's the rush I live for, standing up there playing those songs, and I appreciate it to no end when some one is willing to give up any small amount of time and money to listen to us play. I never want to be a celebrity, but I don't know that I could live without the rush of performance. Looking into some one's eyes, or finding that one person you really hoped made it to the show can make the biggest difference in the world.

Despite this little quarter-life crises I seem to be trying to wedge myself through I'm finding a lot of help along the way. As always my incredible parents are still supporting me in my confusion, and I've been wanting to give back to them more and more lately. I guess it's all part of this getting older thing, learning how I can show them my appreciation without buying things. I have to get over some of the things I thought were entirely institutionalized when I was a kid.

Like I said, I'm having brief existential moments daily for some reason but I'm still planning on going ahead with my RPM. It's looking to be in the same style as last year's, with synth style drums, bass and rhythms but plastered with electric guitar and raw vocals to give it that actual wall of sound effect. I'm debating as to whether or not I'm going to try to feature a lot of people this year, but I suppose I'll figure that out as time progresses. Twinkee and Pricey are going head long into an RPM of their own, but I'll most definitely be recruiting their help when it comes to the sometimes tedious recording process.

If anyone was hoping for some of my usual beat down angst stuff you may be disappointed, I've been writing most of my lyrics during the day, and I'm specifically trying to counteract the predominant winter blues. Hopefully I'll get a couple of video blogs put together soon so some of you can hear some samples, but I'm definitely a lot more comfortable writing about it, so everyone make sure to keep stopping in to read the update!

I'll be seeing you soon,
Jeff

Musically Inclined

Newfoundland's doing something that I didn't think could happen. They're challenging people all across the province to try to create an entire album within the month of february.

OPPURTUNITY!

It's sort of the motivation I've been trying to find to actually start writing music again. The challenge is writing and recording an entire album in 28 days, it has to be fourteen songs long. If you do the math, that leaves about two days per song. A challenge if I ever did hear one, however I've teamed up with an incredible musician and I think this can go really smoothly if I pick up my pen and paper and start churning out ideas like I used to.

Guitar Pro, here I come!! (I'll be posting some of the general ideas that I write in guitar pro on here so that you guys can check them out and give me some input. Download link for the program will be at the bottom of the post!)

Alright, so it's going to be tough, but with encouragement I think it's going to go really well.

Other big news. I decided that my song Echoes (downloadable in the sidebar aswell!) is probably my best work (aside from my panda farm work) and because of this, I think I'm going to try to start writing some more really mellow ambient sort of stuff. The kind of thing one might see in a movie somewhere. If there are any indie film writers out there who need a sountrack written, e-mail me a script and I'll get to work! FOR FREE! :)

I'm not sure how well I'll do at it, but after some practice and criticism I'm sure I'll improve enough and maybe some day find myself in the position of bands like Explosions in the Sky or Daniel Lanois, y'know the generic sort of soundtracky bands. If ANYONE has any ideas for me, please comment and let me know, I'd love to here.

I'll be putting my CD reviews on hold, and production of my own solo stuff until the competition's over some time in march, and I'm sure it'll be worth it.

I'm off.

Cheers.

Guitar Pro 5.2 - download torrent here!

p.s. - If you don't know how to use torrents yet, I wrote a tutorial on it here.

New Game

There comes a time where you have to get into a new style, get into a new game. This is what we're all trying to do every day of our lives. Upgrade upgrade upgrade. We walk around in our small entourages and hope to some day be leading it if only for a minute or two because we've taken on a new style, a new game.

You face judgement too though, and I'm learning not to be afraid of that. I used to hate it when anyone would think anything of me other than what I intended them to think, but now I understand what this is. I see this as my own fault for not letting me become, well me. I mold myself into something that everyone likes. This causes me to become a pushover, causes very few people to appreciate me for what I am causes me to be a very lonely person sometimes. But this is okay, because it's better to have one friend who appreciates you than several who talk about you behind your back and say very mean things about your character when you're not looking. Thus is the reason as to why I'm fully ready to start new and start fresh and start to make some changes.

CHANGE 1

No more being aware of people making shit up about me behind my back and staying silent. I'm about to speak up, and speak up in an angry and justified voice.

CHANGE 2

This is my space too, and I'm tired of having it violated without my permission. Everything will be locked and stowed until I say otherwise.

CHANGE 3

I probably won't even sleep here anymore, I'd rather be with her every night, because she listens, and she doesn't make fun of me when I'm not around, and she doesn't think terrible things about my character. If I come home and some one is in my bed sleeping without my permission, they will have a brief moment of reckoning and find themselves on the much less comfortable floor.

CHANGE 4

I'm going to stop just writing these things on the internet and take action on them for once in my fluffy life. I'm sick, and I'm tired, and I just want to be home at this point, because that's where Fisher is.

If your nickname refers to a tasty pastry, this doesn't apply to you, you may think it does, because you spend a lot of time with the people who were saying a lot of the things that bothered me. You've been quite the good friend lately, and so has your roommate. I'm sorry if you took offence to any of this.

Discovery

In which we talk about ourselves, and our resolutions.

This is the time for us to begin talking of how we wish to be on the turn of the next New Year.

I'm in university, so naturally I'm incredibly broke. I'm trying to start a budget, but who knows if my feigning willpower will ever allow me to stick to this. This could be for several reasons. The main one would be dependencies. I'm dependent on FAR too many chemicals for me to be financially fit. These dependencies are not solely chemical, as much of it is on account of social pressures. You may have heard the words many times "University is an excuse to be an alcoholic."

It couldn't be more true.

I feel that if I can strip myself from those needs and wants that I may actually be able to waste my capital on something that matters to me, something that is withstanding, and something that will allow me to enjoy more than just a night of disillusion and lost inhibitions. I'm referring now to that drunken pseudo-euphoria. If I could strip myself of my want for that, I could spend my life in such a more efficient manner. This is not saying that I want to stop drinking entirely though, because given the proper social opportunity and atmosphere it would be quite profitable, at least, metaphysically.

This brings me to my resolution. I am going to will myself to spend only 30$ a week whilst here at university. My meals and lodging are well paid for, so this shouldn't be too difficult as without alcohol my expenses are few and easily met. This goal is only 20$ less that my previous goal, which is a realizable goal, and therefore much easier to obtain. I've learned through my many endeavors into challenged willpower that this is the easiest way to succeed in conquering a challenge. So, that is how my money will be spent, $30 per 7 days in my week.

On a different note, I've felt my musical self changing. I've stopped looking for masturbatory guitar and drums, and started looking for something that makes me feel satisfied. I used to believe that it took considerable skill to create the songs I used to listen to, with their eight minute guitar solos and soaring vocal harmonies, however, this is only one form of musical talent. To be able to take someone to a completely different realm with your music, to relax them and make them feel as though they could simply slip into a walking dream, is also something that requires very much talent.

This is where I found the Arcade Fire and Bloc Party (See download links for their CDs that I enjoy at the bottom of the page). As much as I believe that MTV's top ten albums of the decade exclude many genres, I find these two albums to be quite lovely. They've brought me to an entirely new level of appreciation, and they've made quite the splendid impact of my musical diversity.

To be fair, I have one last resolution, but it's a repeating theme. I want to lose weight, and actually keep it off. Something I was really proud of was getting down to a healthy weight and maintaining it for almost a year. My heavy course load and financial falters have led to me not having the time or money to going to a good gym. These are excuses, I realize, and the beer probably didn't help, but I'm ready to actually try this semester.

Lastly, I want to let you all know that I'm going to start writing little tidbits of advice for keeping your health and creativity while you hit university for the first time, or if you're struggling while you're here. Of course, I have to compile the advice and apply/test it to my own lifestyle, just to make sure you won't be led astray by words. When it does arrive, however, it will be beneficial to anyone finding they just don't have the time.

That'll be all

-Jeff

Bloc Party - Silent Alarm

The Arcade Fire - Funeral

Symphonic

It makes me a little bit sad that the new song had such small reception, it's like I bleeding into a niche that has long since been deemed obselete. Part of me wants to look back and just quit, because a lot of the effort I've been pumping out has been resulting in nothing, but at the same time I'm inspired by the few people who have taken their time to go on and give me props. It means a lot if only a few people really enjoy what I do, because I do it because I love it, not because I want everyone to like it.

Simply said, I'm going to trying more and more to put something out there that everyone can enjoy and take in. I want to make something absolutely beautiful, something that will make people go back and put it on loop. It's the way I felt when I heard beautiful music, it's the same emotion that I got when I felt the effort they put into the song. You can feel it, and you can hear it. If it's any consolation, I did almost 100 takes trying to get the harmonies right. I just want it all to be perfect so that everyone that hears it can understand just how deeply I feel about the music that I'm making.

If you want the lyrics, I'll post the composite version of them here, however they were altered a little bit on account of the rythms I use in the song, so don't take them as biblical literature.

I Might

Sweet disguise

Another day

Of different kind

You will be

All I ask

All I need

Poison to me

I need

Satisfy the primal urge

Strengthed by the growing surge

I make a request

At the fall of night

I bleed in innocence

To fall, I might

Pray tonight

For sincerity

Of a sinful kind

Plentiful

This horrowshow embrace

Sentimental

Crippled and incased

I make a request

At the fall of night

Sweet sentient chest

Soft rhythmic tight

So there you have it, the lyrics and the meaning of the song you may or may night end up listening to. Maybe it'll help you like it a little bit more? Which ever, at least the message and the emotion is out there in another way that I enjoy to express myself in. Spoken word, written word, lyrics, poetry, some of the things I can use to extract the images from my brain. Once again, I wish I were a photographer, because I could give you an image to go with all of this, but sadly the image is trapped in my head because I chose the path of the musician.

If this was dungeons and dragons, I'd be a lone bard with a lute and a pen. Safe to say that I wouldn't be doing too much to a dragon, but I could sure as hell ring in some high quality gold from a select few people.

I wish it weren't true, but I think the music scene is slowly dying. If you listen to Simple Plan's new song, you can feel how synthetic it is. Now don't let me take away from a good synth player, it's just strange to hear a band that was once organic, be metamorphed into a band of computers. It's imagination transfered to the computer, transfered to sound. It's missing one important component, which is the human component. To me, nothing technologically perfect is actually music, it's the small flaws and the unnecessary undertones in harmonics that you hear in songs that truly makes it music.

If I could sacrifice the little part of myself that worries about everyone else liking what I do, then maybe I can actually start to write music exactly as it is supposed to be. There will always be time to improve it, and there will never be a true finish point, because in reality, when you love something deeply, there is no end. There will always be a future, and the same thing goes for a piece of music.

For me and Julianna, I can see the same thing, a distant and opaque future. There's nothing completely for sure about it, but I'm sure it's love so I know that there will be no perceivable end until that love runs out. If it does, though I have my doubts at this point that it really ever will. We're dynamic, and as Splash Gordon so lovingly put it, we compliment each other perfectly. A piece of music, a girlfriend, it's all much the same thing with different skin.

So as I usually do, I'll leave all of you a little piece of advice, once again this is provided that anyone actually makes it this far into the post. According to my statistics the average visit time on this site is roughly two minutes and thirty four seconds, so I'm not sure this will get seen at all. Anyway, what I have to say to any of my readers, is that you shouldn't try to percieve anything in incredible detail, just enough to know it and to make the neccesary assumptions. If you analyze all of the things in your life than you will never grow to love them and enjoy them.

Trying to know everything about everyone you know and everything you do takes all the mystery away, and in turn makes the future an endless list of repetition. People aside, this will make your mind turn on itself and abandon whatever it knows everything about first, simply because it's trying to save you from impending monotony in your life. So here I leave you with that. Make your life ambiguous and make you life full of love.

Critics

It’s so easy to say something about some one else’s work, but as soon as your work takes the stethoscope you start to really really wonder what’s going on. You start to really reconsider the way that you’ve been writing, the way that you’ve been playing, the way that you’ve ect. ect. ect.

I’m not sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I’d love to write. Write write write. It just seems like the perfect thing to do. It’s seems like I could sit all day and tippity tap the key board, telling stories. I just don’t have the motivation. The positive reinforcement.

Tell me what to do.

Please.

Just offer a few suggestions if anything. What is it that Jeff Cook is best at? What is it that I can do best? The new Career Advice thing that I’m taking in school tells me to SHOOT FOR THE STARS.

Job Opportunity: Author

Just a few things that I might be good at. Would you buy a book that I wrote? Would you buy that book? Would you want to know what I’m writing enough to ACTUALLY pay for it? You’ve gotta let me know, put a little bump in the right direction.

Job Opportunity: Musician

You’ve gotta know people who know people who know the pope to be a famous musician. It takes extreme talent and time that I just don’t have. But I guess with enough positive reinforcement, I can make time. I can start recording with all the free time I have. I can write write write ALL DAY. Just give me the positive reinforcement, just let me know what you want me to do. TELL ME.

Job Opportunity: Chef

I wish, I honestly honestly honestly do. I wish I could make fine cuisine and have everyone eat it, that would be absolutely fantastic. It’s just something I’ve come to love to do. Cook, it’s fun! But I mean, again, do you think I could make it? Think I could come out on top? Maybe… maybe…

Job Opportunity: Artificial Intelligence Psychometrics

Isn’t that the coolest sounding job title in the world? It’s actually one thing that I would really enjoy doing, because it’s something that would encompass everything that I’ve ever wanted to do. It’s the analysis of human emotion, human psychometrics. With your data, you compile ways through software to replicate true human emotion artificially. You create artificial intelligence. I read people, I love computers, and it’s got a bitchin’ job title. What could be more perfect.

Job Opportunity: Dancer

Get over it, it’s not happening.

Job Opportunity: Fashion designer

Not a chance.

Job Opportunity

Job Opportunity

The rest of your life is waiting for you to choose, but everything says “shoot for the stars.” Can I do that? Can I go out on a limb and try to make it in the world of fame and infamy?

Maybe someday.