"Something Tells Me I'm in for Something Good"

It's the best of times when you can feel change on the tip of your tongue. It's as though you've been waiting an incredibly long time for something to just come along and bite you in the ass, infecting you with willpower. We all know this doesn't actually happen this way, you have to work for willpower, but today, in this moment, it feels like some one has literally come up behind me and bit me on the ass to provide me some sort of ethereal will. I know this sounds silly, but I can honestly feel change on the tip of my tongue. The edge of the moment provides a shifting canvas for me to be the paint upon.

Fact is, is that my life is going through this crazy transition. I'm becoming independent, which is an incredible step for some one who was a mamma's boy his entire life. I'm taking a leap out onto the unsteady floor boards of completely independent life. I'm realizing as I do this, that some of the choices I've made, and some of the mistakes that I've yet to take responsibility for, must be illuminated. They must be evaluated, and they must be slowly defeated. This is what I completely plan to do. Slowly use my will to erase these hindering characteristics. It's going to be hard, but like I said, there's something about the breath I've been drawing lately that's giving me some unreal power over myself. 

Today is going to be a good day, again, because in the first hour I accomplished a lot, and I plan to continue such productivity throughout these, my far to few waking hours. I'll be in biology class in the space of the next two hours, then beyond that, my day is a relative write off. I just have to make it through a few excruciating hours of school, and I get to take my half day, and then tonight, I'll be with her. Today should be easy, so I'll push myself and try to make my best of it.

If you took everything you've ever thought about and thrown it into a melting pot, what do you think would really come out of it? What if everything that encompassed your very being was being challenged by change? How would this make you feel? It's where I am right now, but I don't feel so bad about it, and I don't feel so bad about a change either. Lately I haven't been who I want to be, so I'm going to change.

On a lighter note, school stress is hereby gone. 93% on the calculus exam, couldn't ask for more.

Also, I've been inspired by a certain some one elses blog, he's got all his weight loss progress tracked, and I think I might do the same, check him out. (John Is Fit)

Bleeding me Home

It's surprising that I should be so entertained in the presence of my younger cousin. It was only three years ago, or a few days more, that I was not interested in her in even the slightest way, yet now our friendship has evolved into something more than most friendships or cousin-ships do in just the short time of a three year span. I've done more in this week, partied, shopped, galavanted if you will, than I ever have. It's like this part of my family allows me some temporary release from the monotonous routine that I always seem to fall into as part of my life. They've even made me want to try polyphasic sleep again. But maybe not....

I've decided to tell you a little bit about how my ''life changing'' is going. I've got the initiative to start running again, and it's helped, I've had a couple small jogging session lately. My family being here, and being awake until three o'clock each morning does put a slight splinter in working out, lifting weights ect. but I'm sure that that will return to me as my routine comes back together. I've also opened a new savings account. I'm chastized almost constantly about my self centered spending. It's not my fault. I have money, I spend money. SO I've decided to transfer AT LEAST 50% of each paycheck into this low interest savings account, and praying for it to build up in time to make me some money for university.

Money Saving ideas

Bring lunch to work instead of buying it.

Borrow Games from friends when I feel the urge.

Buy books from the bargain bin, stories are timeless, they'll get to the bin eventually.

Ask for things as a gift for my birthday or christmas, they're never THAT far away.

Pay for less movies, be more extreme in sneaking ability

Okay, so my plans aren't foolproof, but I think I'll have a little bit of a head start onto the wagon with all of this willpower I suddenly have. Just have to keep it rolling, keep it going, keep it up homeslice. I dunno, hopefully all this will become an unstoppable boost of will that will keep me parading through richness and good health until I graduate in four months.

I graduate in four months.

Dear god.