Friday, July 17, 2009


It makes me a little bit sad that the new song had such small reception, it's like I bleeding into a niche that has long since been deemed obselete. Part of me wants to look back and just quit, because a lot of the effort I've been pumping out has been resulting in nothing, but at the same time I'm inspired by the few people who have taken their time to go on and give me props. It means a lot if only a few people really enjoy what I do, because I do it because I love it, not because I want everyone to like it.

Simply said, I'm going to trying more and more to put something out there that everyone can enjoy and take in. I want to make something absolutely beautiful, something that will make people go back and put it on loop. It's the way I felt when I heard beautiful music, it's the same emotion that I got when I felt the effort they put into the song. You can feel it, and you can hear it. If it's any consolation, I did almost 100 takes trying to get the harmonies right. I just want it all to be perfect so that everyone that hears it can understand just how deeply I feel about the music that I'm making.

If you want the lyrics, I'll post the composite version of them here, however they were altered a little bit on account of the rythms I use in the song, so don't take them as biblical literature.

I Might

Sweet disguise

Another day

Of different kind

You will be

All I ask

All I need

Poison to me

I need

Satisfy the primal urge

Strengthed by the growing surge

I make a request

At the fall of night

I bleed in innocence

To fall, I might

Pray tonight

For sincerity

Of a sinful kind


This horrowshow embrace


Crippled and incased

I make a request

At the fall of night

Sweet sentient chest

Soft rhythmic tight

So there you have it, the lyrics and the meaning of the song you may or may night end up listening to. Maybe it'll help you like it a little bit more? Which ever, at least the message and the emotion is out there in another way that I enjoy to express myself in. Spoken word, written word, lyrics, poetry, some of the things I can use to extract the images from my brain. Once again, I wish I were a photographer, because I could give you an image to go with all of this, but sadly the image is trapped in my head because I chose the path of the musician.

If this was dungeons and dragons, I'd be a lone bard with a lute and a pen. Safe to say that I wouldn't be doing too much to a dragon, but I could sure as hell ring in some high quality gold from a select few people.

I wish it weren't true, but I think the music scene is slowly dying. If you listen to Simple Plan's new song, you can feel how synthetic it is. Now don't let me take away from a good synth player, it's just strange to hear a band that was once organic, be metamorphed into a band of computers. It's imagination transfered to the computer, transfered to sound. It's missing one important component, which is the human component. To me, nothing technologically perfect is actually music, it's the small flaws and the unnecessary undertones in harmonics that you hear in songs that truly makes it music.

If I could sacrifice the little part of myself that worries about everyone else liking what I do, then maybe I can actually start to write music exactly as it is supposed to be. There will always be time to improve it, and there will never be a true finish point, because in reality, when you love something deeply, there is no end. There will always be a future, and the same thing goes for a piece of music.

For me and Julianna, I can see the same thing, a distant and opaque future. There's nothing completely for sure about it, but I'm sure it's love so I know that there will be no perceivable end until that love runs out. If it does, though I have my doubts at this point that it really ever will. We're dynamic, and as Splash Gordon so lovingly put it, we compliment each other perfectly. A piece of music, a girlfriend, it's all much the same thing with different skin.

So as I usually do, I'll leave all of you a little piece of advice, once again this is provided that anyone actually makes it this far into the post. According to my statistics the average visit time on this site is roughly two minutes and thirty four seconds, so I'm not sure this will get seen at all. Anyway, what I have to say to any of my readers, is that you shouldn't try to percieve anything in incredible detail, just enough to know it and to make the neccesary assumptions. If you analyze all of the things in your life than you will never grow to love them and enjoy them.

Trying to know everything about everyone you know and everything you do takes all the mystery away, and in turn makes the future an endless list of repetition. People aside, this will make your mind turn on itself and abandon whatever it knows everything about first, simply because it's trying to save you from impending monotony in your life. So here I leave you with that. Make your life ambiguous and make you life full of love.