Some one very close to me said they thought it was incredible how emotions could overwhelm you. How when love is gone, the world becomes dull. Sounds aren't as beautiful anymore, you can't taste, you can't feel. You still smell them, you still feel them. I slept the same way I would if she were there.
"I just want him back."
It's that time again. You don't take medication because you're stubborn, and it's you being weak. You won't go to bed, because for some reason you want to prove to yourself that you don't need sleep. You're being weak.
You've got some thinking to do, especially now, and you probably won't sleep as soon as you close your eyes like you feel like you will. Your mind's not tired, your eyes are, and even if your mind was tired it'd keep you up, because minds are like that. It's got a canvas and it wants to paint it every color possible so that you can make a story out of all the things to come.
It started with Rutherford, he shot an atom at gold foil. When it collided, projections occured not only infront of the foil after the atom passed through, but it also projected behind the foil.
You call it your future complex, because you want to sound like you have an infinite amount of things wrong with you. There's a complex for everything, so you sound a little bit more interesting, you want to be figured out even though there's so little figuring out to do. Fact is, this future complex means you think about all of the different possibilities before they even happen. You think about them and then you try to make everyone like you so much that your future becomes malleable. It's a complex because this doesn't work. No matter how much you kiss ass there's no way that it's going to work out exactly how you want it to work it. See, this is why it's a complex, it's an infinite number of impossible possibilities.
It was William James next that began the search for multiverse theory. The idea that there are an infinite amount of universes parallel to ours. Each of these universes account for the infinite amount of possibilities each decision made will create. If I choose not to post this blog, if I choose to stop writing here, a new universe is created.
There's a lot of ways you can think about the future. You're a rationalist though. The glass isn't half empty or half full, the cup just isn't the right size for the amount of liquid. So this is why you're so excited about this.
I'm getting to the point now.
You've been waiting to really come into your all. Getting ready to finally take a stand. It's been so long since you've put your foot down that you've been battered and torn and changed into something that you're not even quite sure of. It's strange though, because you retain everything you once were. So it's time to start defining yourself again. This is life, and this what transition must feel like. This is exactly what you wait for, and this is exactly what opportunity is.
Thing is, is that you're happy, and that's what's important. Take it slow take it slow take it slow. These phrases always come together that way. Fact is, you're going to go along this trail because it feels just as right as it always did. You got led astray once, do you remember that? All those thoughts rushing in and violating you the way they did? It was unpleasant to say the least. You've got something going here, it's good.
I wrote something in a moleskin somewhere at some point about words that people say. I read that over, and I think it has a lot to do with what's happening right now.
Block it out and move it. You're alone in your mind, and you've gotta realize this.
This is our bubble.