Today I feel like telling all of you about my wonderful math professor.
He makes analogies that never really make any sense at all until he relates them to integral calculus. For example, in the fundamental theorem of calculus (PART II! As Mr. Dalling would put it) he refers to the d of d/dx as a knife, weilded by your mother who is about to kill you. This is because the d successfully breaks up some equations appropriately to make them differentiable. Then, he calls the integral your grandfather, who tells your mother to stop, and offers you candy.
Basically, they cancel each other out. Grandpa has nothing to do with area under the curve. I think that's what his hook is, trying to make the first little bit of it seem just like Calculus 1000, and have nothing to do with graphs or curves. When I took it in high school, that's ALL it was about. The AP program was great, and it made me quite ready for differential calculus, but this new wonky way to look at the integral is harshing my mellow.
But back to my math prof, whom is quite lovely, and entertaining.
In explaining why there is an integration constant, he described the "d" first, cutting of the tip of britney spears' nose. This led to much confusion, as the integral could very well put the tip of her nose back on, but it was quite sure where to put it. Britney Spears, because, "deformed Britney Spears". It order to put it back on in the right place, we use our integration constant or C value, as some sort of direction as to where this slice of nose is supposed to go.
Next we looked at "U" substitution.
"We do not want to see this function." Says the prof.
"So we do like kangaroo, and we stick our head in the sand"
"U" substitutions are now to be referred to as kangaroos.
I'll inform you that my math professor is incredibly japanese, and speaks with a very thick and humorous accent, so all of this is in fact, quite funny to hear.
Finally, he tells us why it is okay to take a scalar multiple out of the integral. The scalar multiple he says, is a Shit Disturber, and must be removed, just as a Shit Disturber is to be removed from the a party within which he is disturbing shit.
All multiplication constants are hereby referred to in all contexts as "Shit Disturbers"
I must say I'm thrilled about having a professor who doesn't take math so seriously. I understand that it's an exact science, and that it's very difficult, but if you don't take it lightly it can get incredibly dull and seem much more like a study subject than a sort of puzzling theory challenge.
Well, that's all folks.
p.s. - I receive over 50% of my traffic from people who think I have a torrent of Year of The Black Rainbow for download.
a) I don't, it hasn't leaked yet.
b) It's going to be shitty, stop clicking my links.