Thursday, January 21, 2010

Please girl stay

Sitting in english class has to be one of the strangest experiences of my life. It's like looking at something I could've easily become with my past ambitions. I wanted to be an author, and I still want to be a musician. This man, FM, is reaching his middle age, still playing in the band, and is now an English Professor. Could I see myself like that? Or would I always just strive to do something that had a nicer ring to it?

I would love to be an author, or a freelance writer, living in a studio apartment and writing under a lamp all day. I'm talking about the grungy, one room with a mattress and a mini fridge sort of place. Throw in some bad hygiene and cabin fever.

Stir and Simmer

I wish I was just a man. JUST a man. That my name carried no weight to anyone, and no ambition was required of me at all. This would include making myself completely isolated, I realize, but how great would it feel to KNOW exactly what it is you want to do? Y'know, sit in a room with yourself and shell out all the possibilities and then choose the one that suits you best.

See, if I could be in a band. Just one band, playing music, rehearsing, recording, and writings, I would never be happier. I'd live in my shitty apartment with my acoustic guitar and write songs until four in the morning every night until I could get there, that's exactly what I'd do if I could really choose my ambition. Throw in some tenacity and a pinch of poverty for inspiration.

Shelter and ignore for ten minutes

I don't want to be an economist, I don't want to be an engineer, I don't want to be a teacher. I want to realize my dreams and stop pretending that there's something else out there for me. Dad says I have to do exactly what I want to do so I don't kick myself in the ass going to work everyday. There's no way to get there in this direction.

I just want to play music.

I just want to be a musician,

1 comment:

Melissa said...

Hey! I really like this type of blog, keep writing them this way. It makes me feel like I'm having a conversation with you. And I agree with dad you need to do what you want or you wont be happy, but just get a degree so you have something to fall back on when you get really old! Love ya