Thursday, April 23, 2009

Insensitive Hiatus

I apologize to many of my avid readers, as it is true, I have been fairly absent for awhile. My reasoning is simple. I have recently come across a burst of musical infatuation. I've been playing around with a new recording interface that I bought, and am currently very employed with trying to write music and be in a band that's currently on it's way up in the city's musical food chain. We have a couple of shows lined up here and there, and it's safe to say that I'm reasonably excited for them. I think we've really get a little bit more edge, a little bit more quality to offer than most of the bands in the area. No offence, clearly I enjoy the music of almost every outfit Saint John has to offer, it's just, I'm incredibly hopeful, and incredibly proud of the music that we make. It's like my baby or something.

I've found a lot in the last little while. Found out things. Different things about people, places and things, basically I just know a little bit more about the nouns in my life. They're all changing, unfortunately. I know that sounds weird coming from me, some one who loves science, who loves technology, who thinks every step of the way is a slow and tedious progression into death, however, change scares me too. I've gotta flesh out all these new psychological rules for all of the people that have decided to subtly change their psyches. This probably sounds superficial, I apologize, I don't mean to have any one think that I've figured them out, however, I do do my best to fully understand people so that I may help them in the most efficient way possible.

Story's all behind the eyes really, just waiting for me to come read it.

It seems like I've fallen in with a "crowd". Not necessarily a good or bad one, I'm not putting any label on them, it's just a strange concept for me to be so confined to a single group of friends. Sorry, no no, not confined, but to only wish to be with a certain amount of people when I go out, or when I do things. It's just strange I guess, so many people are drifting away from me, just letting themselves slip because I'm busy, or because I'm not always "there" like I used to be. It's sad, and it hurts, but I can't help it. My life's in constant motion, how can I help not being at certain things. But I digress, as I've grown closer to those around me which I wished to. They are my peers, they are those which I compare myself too, and I'm happy with that. I don't mean to sound introverted, but we're a particularly clever bunch for only just being on the brink of graduating high school.

There's the rub hmmm?

We're going to graduate this year, all of us going out into the great big world that is real life.
It's just strange to be faced with something like independence, none of us have had something so immaterial yet so valuable at the same time. It'll be like holding a tiny china doll that we cannot see, cannot feel, can barely fathom. We'll probably come to the mutual understanding at some point that freedom is an incredibly fragile thing, independence being that which provides the torque to keep it in balance. Terrifying thought, being thrown into turmoil by enjoying yourself too much.

I think I'm finally grasping time management, I'm actually understanding when I procrastinate, and I'm trying to convert those wasted minutes into productive time doing something. The best tip I got was to start making lists, detailed detailed lists, sort of like the brain of some one with Autism. Just list out your day in perfect order and perfect detail, and you'll start to plot out your tendancies. One of my tendencies say that when I wake up late, or I "sleep in" I always end up having a particularly lazy day. This could be easily solved if I could some how push my sleep patterns back to a healthy time, however, midnight seems to be my set sleep time, and eight o'clock seems to be my set wake up. I want to fix this like you couldn't even believe.

Well, the band has shirts now, and we have almost five songs written and rehearsed, it's quite something for a fledgling band to have, and I hope you all listen to the tune on myspace it truly is my pride and joy, my little baby panda farm band.

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