Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A hundred Thousand

You've gotta really consider all the facts when you're pushing past people in the hallways. It's started to bother me to the very core having to suck it in and squeeze through every corrider. They just won't move move move. It's not just walking, one place to another, it's common courtesy. It's the way most people act or don't act on a day to day basis. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm just saying that I put a good foot forward to avoid arguments. Avoidance Avoidance Avoidance, you stay away from confrontation because frankly you can't take it.

I've put the good foot forward and it's been stepped on a couple of times, but that's okay, no shoes are bigger than mine right now. I've got a lot of stuff to worry about, it's okay, lay it on me. I try to help as best I can so you'll get an equal amount of my effort to try to make your day that much easier. Will I tell you I can't? No. Will I tell you I'll get around to it? Yes. But remind me, because I'm not good with memory when I've got so much to remember.

I enjoy it, helping people, doing a favor here and there and it helps. I like to think it's my own personal way of showing all the people I know that I sort of care. That I sort of care care give a shit that they trust me with something they want done. Even though I'd do it for anyone. It's just a shared trust we've opened up through you asking me for a favor. I'm going to do it. Thank you. You're welcome.

Another thing.

Today I couldn't stop thinking about her. It's weird because normally the only time that I really get this excited is if I'm going to be waking up to boatloads of presents that I'm being spoiled in recieving. Kind of crazy hmmm? Well it's true, the only time I was this excited, I was four years old, and I soiled my favorite new pajamas because it was christmas morning and I got a new nintendo. They were some nice PJs too. And I'm excited. Genuinely excited stoked anxious. I just want to see her again.

It's only been three, maybe four days? And now I'm getting this growing gut feeling that I'm not gonna see her ever again because we had a little hiccup and didn't get to see each other in between. We had to talk it out on the phone. Because that's what couples do. We talk it out. You don't have to worry about it at all after you talk it out. It's like it's still there, but you've both done your part, and you both understand it was a little crazy. You're better you talked it out.

So I can't wait to see her. I'm not about to drop a bomb in my PJs like christmas years and years ago, however, it's the feeling you get when you're nervous. It's been a while, y'know, months-wise, however, that little bit of nervousness was gone. Well relatively, you're never honestly completely comfortably with some one. Any way, the way it goes, you end up being a little bit less nervous. This time is so different though.

I'm so incredibly anxious excited nervous.

I just want to see her.

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