Thursday, February 12, 2009


You said you should have a guest spot in my blog. You were right. It was the moment that we started being friends that mom and dad started to really disagree with me, and that's good, because then, now, that's what I wanted, some measure of separation. You told me to not care about what mom said. You were right right right. It helped more then you could have known. It gave me that little bit of distance and let me grow up and become some one.So thank you, and I appreciate it, and it means a lot. You became a catalyst for the maturity I took on as a pastel to compliment my psyche. Don't think it's a bad thing that you got me to grow up grow up act my age. I made the mistakes I've made out of my own weakness in character, so don't take too much of that into consideration, really, it's mostly my fault. So don't lay the blame anywhere, me me me.
Do you know I'm talking about you yet? Sister? Because I have been. It was all the happiness in the world when we started driving places in your car and I drove shotgun. That's the seat of a young fellah. That's where I stopped being just your little brother. I was like a guest in your Doctor Phil civic, and I asked all the advice a derranged guest on such a show might. You were the one with the most insightful answers. I should've figured. You were older, you've been through this that and all of it before. So you were the one that let it all come out of me and make some good decisions.

I have to thank you for the Elizabeth thing too. You always knew, all along that it wasn't right, and you were the one in the end that really helped me realize what was good for me. How what I was doing was unhealthy. It's true, it wasn't right me being there with her, being part of her life, being part of that misery. You saved me from all that because you reassured me that the sadness I was feeling wasn't right. You'd probably heard mom telling me, and me not believeing her because you're not supposed to care about what mom says. So I cut it off.

You saved me from that.

So Jay, I guess you're an avid reader? Y'know I never got the chance to tell you how much I appreciate your support. You watch all my videos, you read my blogs, you like my music. It's amazing, it's like having an older brother that actually cares. Not the incredibly harsh ones you see in so many movies. So you've become some what of a reason I keep making things. A lot of people have let the novelty wear off, but you're sticking around for one reason or another. I like that.

All the times you've let me hang out, everytime Melissa's asked you to just let me go about my way and you insisted I came and hung out with you and the guys, it was nice. I don't know if you knew, or even to this point know, but, I don't really have "boys". It's more like the crew that gets together and plays video games, and that's not very often. There's no one I really go to for anything masculin at all. It was good. You were the first one to ever offer me a beer. I was long over due, needless to say, but it was that kind of kin ship that made it bigger for me.

So you both know now, because I neglect to mention. I guess getting caught up in the throes of all of the crazy dramatics I can weave, I forget about the little things, the people to thank and let know I care. I just want to look pitied. But I need to let you two know, that it's more to me to have you two there. Like a couple of impromptu older friends. It's nice. Thank you both. So much.

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