I've got a ton of reasons just built up all over the place, but it's not going to get me anywhere.
I was falling asleep one night, not too long ago, and I started to think of a picture I'd seen not long at all ago. It was something Bill Henson had created, that I started thinking about. It was a natural scene, destroyed and hopeless, with a little bit of light cresting the horizon. Fallen branches in the foreground, the color green just showing through the bleak decay of the rest. Every bit of art I see is surrealism to me, because it's usually something with so much metaphorical meaning, that I'll never truly grasp it's reasoning, yet I'm here, seeing it, being a part of it. Just seeing it makes it surreal to me.
So I was falling asleep.
I played this little flute line in the back of my head, stage instructions were to breath slowly. The line repeated, and fell and swelled and did when music does. The violins were next. They came in softer, as though they were sneaking up from the back of my psyche. Then there they were. They just were. I didn't really come up with how they would sound. They just came in with their own independent composition. The stage instructions were telling me to count.
The picture never faded, even as the tattoo of drums began to ring in the mix of what seemed like at least forty instruments. I was Beethoven taking a nap. The stage instructions were telling me to keep my eyes closed, it would work faster that way. I remember trying to get up, trying to write this symphony down, but that picture kept reverberating in my eyesight, and it was like I was waiting for something. Some beautiful release.
The entire symphony was playing now. Thrashing about and falling into a groove. Rising and falling like human emotion itself. I heard it so vividly, in all of it's movements, how ever many there were, but couldn't remember this my own miraculous work for the life of me. I've been exaggerating when I tell people that I dream of conducting an orchestra, I didn't think it would actually happen.
That's more or less all I have to say for now. I'll post later tonight most likely.
For one to another.