Friday, March 20, 2009


It's going to set in here in around a couple days. This is the third, which is the second last, night of the musical. It's the third, which is the second last, night of Footloose. My last final dernier musical production. As far as I know, it'll be the last time people'll clap for me on stage.

Everyone's going on tour this summer, I think I'll stay home.

It just feels weird to know that some time in the incredibly near future I'll have some measure of free time. It feels strange to know that I'm going to start sitting around doing nothing again simply because most nights I'll have a commitment to fulfill some time after five. A couple hours wasted each day. A couple hours I could be dancing on stage, singing for people, entertaining them. These are going to be the longest 11 weeks of my life.

These are going to be 11 weeks of nothing until graduation.

On one hand, I'm excited that I'll finally be able to give her due attention. She deserves so much more than she's been getting, and it'll be a relief to finally pick her up on week nights again. Fritter away a few hours, kissing, talking, taunting, all that cute stuff. Just a chance to not have such a pressing time restraint. Just to push off all those bonds and move into something real again.

I guess I was a little worried.

Some things still make my niggle more than usual. Some things still make my mind just tickity tick tick when it shouldn't. I'm writing more than ever now, short stories, poems, lyrics, guitar guitar guitar. I wish I was going away on the road on tour with SOME ONE this summer, but I just don't have enough time to pull it all together properly. I write write write. More wasted work.

Some days I wish it was back in the golden days.

Sound of a Silent Scream. Just Breathe. Deep Sixx. Dionysis. The good days, the good old days when it was all about getting our music out there and playing shows. Playing shows and making an album. It never saw the light of day of course. Our "Four song EP". I lost a brother at the end of that band, I lost a lot at the end of that band. I just want to go back to when we played a sold out show.

You're on stage, and people love you. Just like footloose, except every song is your solo. It's more personal.

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